The Birth of Owen Paul

Mark and I were thrilled when we found out that we were expecting a baby.  I told Mark that he was going to be a daddy right before a bridge inspecting trip.  I gave him a card that explained it all and he was ecstatic.  He ran a few loops around our car and jumped up and down upon hearing the news. 

My pregnancy with Owen was great.  I never experienced morning sickness and had very little discomfort even right up until the end.  I really enjoyed being pregnant.  I loved feeling Owen kick and grow inside me.  It was like waiting for the best Christmas gift ever.  I think I read every book written about pregnancy during this time because I wanted to know everything that was happening and I wanted to be doing the right things to help him grow, such as, eating healthy and exercising.  I even took a prenatal exercise class at the YMCA. 

After reading many pregnancy books and talking to women who had already given birth, I decided that I wanted to have a natural birth.  Now to me, a natural birth meant much more than a lack of drugs for pain.  To me, it meant trusting my body to give birth to my baby in the most comfortable situation possible.  Since Mark and I weren’t comfortable experiencing our first birth at home it seemed like a birthing center would be the best option.  We thought that if we had our baby at a hospital there could be too many un-necessary interventions.  We thought that a birthing center would be fit our needs.    

My due date for Owen was February 2, 2004.    Like most babies, my baby didn’t want to come on his due date.   On Tuesday, the third of February, I had an appointment at the Birthing Center and they didn’t see any signs of him coming but told me hopefully soon.  Well that night at about 3 a.m., I had some clues that he may be on his way.  I told Mark that morning that our baby was probably on the way.  I told him to go to work and that I’d call him if I knew that I was truly in labor.  He got dressed to go and about ten minutes into his drive I called him and asked him to come home.  I was pretty sure that I was in labor and I didn’t want to experience it alone.  He turned the car around pronto!

We spent most of that day at home.  I was having contractions throughout the day but I didn’t think that they were strong enough for me to call our midwife.  The only thing that troubled me was that I thought that my bag of waters was leaking and I had been told by my midwife that I would need to call her if that were the case so that she could start an IV.  I really didn’t want to go in too early because I wanted to do the majority of my laboring at home.  I called our doula for advice.  She told me that I was okay to stay at home and advised me not to call our midwife so soon, since I wanted little interventions.   Our doula even came over to our house that evening to reassure me.   Still, because this was our first baby I thought it would be best to inform our midwife of the situation.  She told me that if my water had broke that I’d need to come in.  We drove to the birthing center at about 9 p.m. that night.  She told me that indeed my bag of waters was broke and that we needed to stay.  I was still having contractions but they weren’t that strong yet.  Mark and I went to bed there at the birthing center.  A few hours later, there was no denying that my bag of waters was broken and that our baby was on the way.  I was soaked from head to toe.  Shortly after, my contractions came on very hard.  They wanted me to sleep but how could I?  Every few hours they would check on me.    I was having contractions but I was not dilating.  They told me that if I didn’t have the baby by ten o’clock that morning that I’d have to be transferred to the hospital.  Our midwife worried that since my water had been broken for so long there would be a chance of infection if the baby didn’t come soon.  We tried everything we could do to get him to come, short of standing on my head.  I was getting upset because I felt that they were putting unnecessary pressure on me to give birth according to their timeline.  The situation at the birth center did not feel at all like the natural birth that I had planned on.  I had hoped that I would feel safe and comfortable at the birthing center but that was not the case. 

My only real comfort came from Mark and also from our doula.  She was a Godsend.  She and Mark helped me through my contractions and made sure that I had everything I needed.  The staff at the birthing center made it clear that they did not appreciate the presence of my doula and did not like that I was taking any advice from her.  However, she was the tuned into my needs and cared for me and my baby so I dismissed the staff at the birthing center and continued to receive care from my doula. 

By noon, on Thursday, the staff at the birthing center decided I would have to transfer to the hospital.  I have to say that by that point I felt relieved.  I was also tired and getting a little hungry.  Our doula encouraged me to eat some soup before we left.  The staff at the birthing center told me that I should not eat but I knew that I had to because I needed something to boost my energy.  By that time, I had labored all day Wednesday and then that Thursday morning.   I knew that they wouldn’t want me to eat at the hospital either so I seized the moment and had some soup!

We arrived at the hospital at around 12:30 p.m.  I was still having contractions but I felt more calm and relaxed.  The nurse on duty read my entire birth plan before my eyes and told me that they would do everything possible to make this the birth that I wanted.  They checked my progress shortly after I arrived and they were satisfied.  They told me that I had dilated 3 cm in the short time that I had been there.  My contractions were strong and they didn’t think that I needed Pitocin at that time.   However, after a few hours I stopped making progress.  They decided to give me Pitocin.  Shortly after the drug was administered the baby’s heart rate dropped.  They quickly took me off the drug.  My contractions were still very strong.  They continued to come on very strong and lasted for what felt like an eternity to me.  I was in so much pain I could not even make out the nurse’s face although she stood only a few feet from me.  Mark and our doula took turns massaging my back and talking me through the contractions.  I was in too much pain to lie down so I leaned on my birthing ball which was placed on the bed.  At this point, the pain was overwhelming.  After each contraction, I fretted about the next contraction that I knew was on the way.  I told Mark that I was going to need an epidural, that I could not handle the pain any longer.  He knew that I originally wanted to give birth without drugs so he encouraged me to wait.  I told the nurse not to listen to him but that I needed the epidural.  She assured me that I could have whatever I needed. 

They checked my progress and I was about 6 cm.  At this time they told me that I could not have an epidural because the baby’s heart rate was low as was mine from the Pitocin.  I was devastated and frightened.  I really didn’t think I could take the pain.  Fortunately, our heart rates came back up and they gave the go ahead.  Now they had to locate the anesthesiologist.   Every minute felt like an eternity until he came in but I kept telling myself that relief was coming soon. 

When he gave me the epidural I was having a contraction but I didn’t care so much because I knew that the pain would be coming to an end.  Thank goodness it worked!  At that point I was so exhausted and so was my support team.  Up until that point, I had insisted on having one of them helping me at all times.  They both helped me more than I could explain here and their support will never be forgotten.    

  I labored pain free after that for many hours.  I could see the contractions on the machine but for the most part I could not feel them.  That evening, at around 9 pm, our doctor checked my progress.  He informed me that I was still not dilating and that I would need to make a decision about whether or not I wanted to have a C-section.  He thought that it would be best for the baby to deliver him since I had been in labor for such a long period of time.  However, he did not pressure me into the decision.  He stepped out of the room and let me discuss this option with Mark and our doula.   Since my water had been broken for more than 24 hours and the baby was up high and was in a posterior position and I hadn’t dilated for hours, we thought that it would be best to have the c-section.  I was excited that after all this time I would soon be meeting my baby.  Surprisingly, I was not afraid.  I had confidence in the doctor and the rest of the hospital staff. 

They prepped me for the surgery while Mark and our doula suited up in another room.   

I insisted that the anesthesiologist make sure that I was completely numb before the surgery.  Mark and our doula were then allowed into the operating room.  Mark held my hand during the surgery and our doula sat close by.  I wanted Mark to talk to me about anything except what was happening to me.  He replied by recounting our honeymoon.  I tried only to think about that until I knew they were finished.  Then I heard the best sound ever, my baby’s cry.  It was the first insight I had into who this little person was.  He had such a sweet sounding voice.  I wanted to see him so badly but I couldn’t.  Mark, however, went over to meet his son.  He watched as they cleaned him up.  Our doula stayed by my side in the meantime. 

After what felt like an eternity, Mark brought him over to me.  He was wrapped so tightly that I could only see his face.  The first thing that I noticed was his eyebrows.  They were so full for a newborn!  He looked so precious.  I wanted to hold him and kiss him but I couldn’t.  My arms were shaking and useless so I couldn’t touch him.  It was such a small space that Mark couldn’t bring him close enough to me for me to kiss him.  I felt like I only saw him for a brief moment and then he had to leave.  They informed me that it would be four hours before I could see him again.  Mark then went with Owen and our doula stayed with me while they finished stitching me up. 

Next, I was moved into a recovery room.  I was so thirsty!  They gave me ice chips to hold me over.  I think I could have eaten a bucket of them.  Owen’s grandparents then came into the recovery room.   They had arrived at the hospital just before Owen was born and they got to see him.  I have to admit that I was a little jealous that everyone could see him except for his mommy.  I tried to tell myself that I’d have a whole lifetime with him but still I couldn’t wait.

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